Extramarital affairs are good for health

A friend from school called me up a month ago and gushed that she was having an extramarital affair.
Teenager-like, she almost shouted out about “the new man in her life” and breathlessly spoke about his “charms” for about an hour. “We are in love and sex is so exciting. He is so experienced and makes me feel like a princess,” she cooed, making “him” sound more like a dashing Mills and Boon’s hero rather than the 40-year-old, pot-bellied accountant that he was.

I was surprised and so were a few of our common friends. Surprised not because “another of us” was having an EMA (if I need to spell this out, you shouldn’t be reading this) but because she, the plainest of all Janes, could have discovered a feeling so exhilarating! She, the one who got married at 22 and perpetually touted the “blessings of an arranged marriage with timely kids,” could hurl away her “settled life” for something so flimsy?

But we were wrong. It wasn’t flimsy.
Over the next two weeks, we saw her transform.

From a dowdy aunty, she turned into a “wow” wife. Printed salwar-kurtas gave way to trendy Western casuals (and for once she looked comfortable in them); regular walks flattened waist tyres; grey hair took on a pretty shade of burgundy and blue-grey contacts replaced thick glasses.

Her brains too seemed altered. She mouthed Lewinsky lines like, “What’s wrong in having sex with another man as long as your family is not neglected?” “What’s guilt?”

But what changed most remarkably was her businessman husband’s attitude towards her. He started noticing her (much more than what he had done during the early days of their marriage). He flooded her with phone calls as she cooked dal, arrived home early to take her out for romantic dinners and even planned a mini-vacation (more romantic than their honeymoon in Shimla).

In another week, the accountant faded away. But my friend maintained her makeover. And her marriage rocked! “We have discovered love for the first time in our marriage. Sex is great,” was her latest gyaan.
So, do we all need a controlled dose of EMA?

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I think it is not wrong havinbg extra marital affair, unless families are not neglected. It all matters how you feel and wat you feel with the patners.
Written by: vanesa | 03/02 03:38PM

I think it was wrong
If you notice, the person mentioned on this blog did not really need an EMA to revive her Sex life... If she had retained the passion for life prior to the affair i guess her husband wouldnt have had neglected her. Its a given that men are visual and if that visual effect had lasted there wouldnt be a need for EMA. The woman mentioned in the blog should have just rejuvinated, coz unfortunately these things catch up in life to ruin the most perfect scenarios. The only thing is as long as she stopped it and got back on track with her original lifestyle its good i guess
Written by: Anon | 07/02 09:24PM

I think its wrong
Wel in that case whats the difference between an humna being and animal.Besdies that there are always different ways to rejenuvate your marriages.Both the partners need to work things together.In the above case it was the fault of the women also she never took care of herself.if she would have done the makeover before her husband would have been the same.
Written by: Rahul | 10/02 03:43PM

Think about it!
Sounds tempting,but it is not worth it.I mean,you surrender yourself for the time being,and then you will have to deal with the guilt all your life,if you have something called conscience(I cant say about those who don't feel the guilt on their part).In my opinion why get married or commit to someone if one intends to have meaningless sex?But when you take the big leap to be with the one, MEAN IT. These are my 2 cents.
Written by: Myself | 18/02 10:27PM

dont mess ur married life
seems intresting but i would not make a mess like this after getting married be honest after getting married.atleast marriage is all bout loyalty and scarfices for ur upcumin future like ur children how wud u feel if ur children cum to know about this sexes isnt everything be careful with these things
Written by: nabeel | 19/02 04:41PM

shameless act
why get into unnecessary trouble by putting ur morals on grade 0 n conscience as low as -1.im happily married and love my hubby to the core and im fat so even im trying to get into shape for my hubbys sake but im also making a point to not let our married life be affected by the fact that im fat and married to a hunk.
Written by: me | 19/02 11:24PM

csw
e m a 's are and have always been here, in real life,in stories, in mythologies, ancient and present.a permissive society or rigid.what all you have written is right. and as usual for all merchandise marketing, remember ,"CONDITIONS APPLY"...... i repeat, "CONDITIONS APPLY !'
Written by: rati kanakshi | 02/03 04:24PM

YR INTENTION
I feel if you have yr intention and be truthful in any relation then its not wrong. You need to be v clear in yr flirting relation and should always tell them what you want n dont want then its fine and its not wrong to have an affair if 2 minds needs r same and in all marriage both needs r never common one needs sex n other needs romance so its nothing wrong if u get that from outside till u r v clear n My opinion is always have affair with married women or men they will be harmless no threat pecept
Written by: A | 07/03 11:17AM

I want to have affair with married women too
Hy, I like the idea and will be more than excited to have an affair with married women. Can someone read me. Hope to read u back.
Written by: Syed | 11/03 03:26PM

Dont be a so cheap
those who think it is fun first shuld allow thier partners to have affiars like this then will they come to know how intresting it is
Written by: pankaj | 12/03 03:18PM

Dumb article!!
I think this was a pretty stupid article aimed at garnering more clicks. Also, straight copy from some western paper.
Written by: rubin | 13/03 02:26PM

Dumb article!!
I think this was a pretty stupid article aimed at garnering more clicks. Also, straight copy from some western paper.
Written by: rubin | 13/03 02:37PM

Think about the accountant too..
Hey people.. No body as mentioned bout the accountant.. The lady mentioned in the article got what she wanted and went for a make over as well and leading happy life with her husband again... Just think about that poor accountant too if he is seriously interested in her.. So sad no...:(
Written by: sunil | 23/03 11:43AM

why so much of fuss about ema
There is nothing bad if you wanna live some time for your self also. Only point one shoudl take care of guilt and secrecy. You should take care that your hubby and you kids dont know about it and at the same time you are not feeling the guilt. You have every right to be happy but at the same time you should not hurt those who love you. if by having a ema there is chage is your married life it is worth it. EMA does not only mean sex but could be good friends as well. After marriage even if they are love marriages couple dont behave like friends and if you have somebody in your life who can hear you share your thoughtsit is ok.
Written by: ramesh atri | 28/03 11:19AM

E.M.A
I think it is not something very unusual,unless and untill you are faithful to your wife and children.Your afair should not effect their life whether you hide or disclose it does not matter
Written by: pn | 10/04 11:20AM

most disgusting and pathetic artical
This type of articals are missleading and shows that this type of people are trying to help to introduse the Hispanic and black/white culture in india becouse this culture dose not have any feeling and respect in their relationship.They live a life worst then animals here in america what i have observed in last 20 years.Our Indian culture is very rich and honest. There are many other ways to live healthy and if she is a normal woman would have thought to do this all for her husband who finaly taking care of her and making her home full of joy.Why she thinks bettet clothes,looks and contact lances are for orher man and not for the husband.If this is a real story one day her husband or kids will have some hints than she should be putting two more lives in hell.The kid will have a tinted futre.
Written by: Brij | 10/04 01:25PM

EMA
Every one has to realize that their possitive afforts can gide the socity in a right and progressive direction.Please stop this nonsence.Do not wright these so called Blogs or articals for the sake of MASALA, this will lead us nowhere and if you can not help to bring some heathy artical which carries a possitive message to the existed socity and the next generation please stop this misleading masala story.My peace of advice to this author bring some thing possitive next time people will apprecite otherwise stop writting.
Written by: Brij | 10/04 01:47PM

its jst a bullshit
having an extra marital affair doesnot works at anystage for time being u b happy enjoy the moments once u get caught everythng is jst like shit "Y DID I DO" u will loose ur family for me the person is a JERK
Written by: jaq | 14/04 10:55AM

What when marriage becomes boring again - Another EMA? And Another...?
There's no such thing as a one-time EMA. If EMA's give one a "high" and provide motivation to change for the better, there will be several difficult situations in life where one will resort to EMAs again. It is wiser to look for other sources of strength and motivation for transforming life and marriage
Written by: KT | 25/04 09:35AM

What rubbish
Is the person justifying this insane.One day someones gonna say that murdering people is good for spicing up our life hence murder is good.
Written by: Saicharan Singh | 30/04 01:32PM

EMA
Those who say this is bad are either ugly fugly like hell or they never get an opportunity. We are living in hyprocrate world. I have seen many women posing like great wives and then falling over me flat when they get chance and apportunity. The article might be a madeup story but EMA are soo soo comon in our society
Written by: Kaka | 30/04 06:29PM

great article - Go women of India
Its time indian men get off their high horses and see life for it really is. Indian men once married keep their wives at home and then go seek pleasure elsewhere and then beat the drum about Indian culture and values they use different measures. just look at the leader of the Shiv Sena and what he gets upto. In short most of the people complaining here are men... what two faced bastards :)
Written by: Nelson | 05/05 04:21AM

Wrong ways
I just want to highlight that if she would have pick up HIV or any other STD, the entire family would have suffered, So much for the women liberation
Written by: Sree | 10/05 07:32PM

Good Idea
EMA...oh!!! so sexciting...
Written by: DD | 15/05 10:10AM

Oh..Oh..
What a innovative idea..out of the box..
Written by: SPR | 15/05 04:27PM

Oh..Oh..
What a innovative idea..out of the box..
Written by: SPR | 15/05 04:30PM

ema - be very careful
EMA can be bad for health too! alluring as it may sound, there can be free gifts attached - like guilt, blackmailing, and HIV too!
Written by: subodh | 17/05 05:52PM

Friends dont Fall into temptation... Extra marital sex is definitely a SIN
Hello.. plz avoid displaying these type of blogs.. It will create wrong ideas in the minds of the young people.. Dont be fooled..
Written by: sharon | 17/05 06:11PM

affair
I have just joined a site called discreetdateusa nearly all the people are married on there looking for affairs, I think it is okay if it is what you want
Written by: Louise | 18/05 11:56AM

EMA
Jayita, sounds interesting and its good that your friend got transformed. Do you think its a good idea for men to have EMAs. If the sex is better than what he has with his wife, will it make him neglect his family??
Written by: Marcus | 21/05 01:00PM

EMA
Its not important if a person is having EMA Only matters is what kind of affiars he is keeping sexual or friends Like just being friends is Ok no hard feelings but its easy to say I hav been a victim of this but my husband cleared there is nothing like sexual relation its just web chat n a coffee meeting thats it. But it Hurts
Written by: OOzy | 23/05 04:48PM

EMA
Well, having EMA after being married is not a problem as long as one does not neglect his/her own family. Most of them has EMA very secretly, as long as this is within urself its fine and will enjoy it. At the same time should be aware or be strong enough to face the consequences once EMA is known to all, particularly to your own family.
Written by: shreya | 23/05 05:49PM

True close friendship-
I am male from Mumbai & Seeking Female/C for - Decent true close friendship, short or long term-- I am doing Job Andheri / Bandra.I don't like Dhoka Ya cheating, Trust me Sure females enjoy lots -I need not require money
Written by: Hussy | 23/05 07:15PM

ENJOY LIFE NOT DESTROY
EMA can be bad for health too! alluring as it may sound, there can be free gifts attached - like guilt, blackmailing, and HIV too! Hello.. plz avoid displaying these type of blogs.. It will create wrong ideas in the minds of the young people.. Dont be fooled..
Written by: CKSV | 25/05 06:08PM

any thing happiness is good
if u both husband and wife are happy now, then there is no probs, but try to aviod this in future otherwise it will finish ur marrige and then u can have n nos. of fun u want. any thing done with a very close and honest person and once or twice in a year is acceptable, else a big trouble will start and will endup with ur relationship with ur husband. we sometimes restrict ourselfs into these things like not having sex with other person, it dont makes any difference till u are satisfied and u dont have any objection with ur hubbys affairs. but in our society it is not acceptable, so beware of dogs, dont get into bad hands.
Written by: NITS | 28/05 03:17PM

Way to go!!
I think its pretty cool to have an EMA.... way to go indian women... its not wrong to to love urself n want something for urself to be happy..
Written by: sneha | 03/06 08:28PM

Would you say the same
If I have an affair with your husband, would you say the same?
Written by: suneerarahman | 09/06 08:13PM

stupified thing of all
well it ,be it satisfying one's sexual or emotional needs ,going on an intercourse spree would not least intriguing in real life..the wife would me more inclined to the lover's needs..depriving the children's and husband's love...wat if that accontant is confronted with an STD ..its more riskier never healthy.....DUMBEST BLOG I'VE EVER READ SO FAR ..a recent study suggested A WOMEN TO BE MORE VULNERABLE TO INFIDELITY AFTER HER FIRST ONE..i myself dont beleive this story
Written by: sai | 24/06 04:03PM

i like it very exciting
EMA is very much exciting and loving . it is very much required for good health and getting new experiences. i am interested, if any body interested , i am waiting.
Written by: shyam | 27/06 10:32AM

MEN ARE FROM MARS and WOMEN from JUPITER, EMA
the Titile of the best selling books for Guide to best marrige life is ""MEN ARE FROM MARS and WOMEN from JUPITER,"" then that itself means that there are 50 50 chance of frequnecy matches even after the best of efforts to match them they are still a considerable gaps, Well EMA is not a tool to cheat the marige life but to fufill those gaps hence are again fruit full for MARRIED LIFEs.
Written by: Shree | 07/07 01:59PM

have fun!!!
yes,i mean why not when u hav a boring,self centred net savvy hubby who gives a dam about his wife.never bothered to ask smething nice n romantic...afterall women r also humanbeings n far superior than men.
Written by: ritika | 13/08 01:58PM

EMA... so exciting...!
EMA would be such a great experience... wow..! Provided, family is taken care of.. especially, the children.
Written by: Deepti | 23/07 05:46PM

TRUE - MY HEALTH IMPROVED...
I have experienced the same effect as the article has stated. I am 60 pounds thinner - Younger - feel 30 instead of 40+ All due to an Italian Man who looked differently at me and my situation. I am grateful to him. Hubby is super sexual - loves the changes in me. I love him now more than ever. The Italian should bottle up his majic and sell it to all middle aged ladies with neglectful hubby's. Bravo! The only downfall is that I miss him - we both agreed to ending the attraction - we did not have intercourse - our relationship was touchy feely - He was falling in love with me and I with him unspoken - not meant to be. Great health benefits and love gone wild. I appreciate hubby's loyalty. I would never really trust the Italian.
Written by: delilia | 26/09 12:39AM

EMA
I like it.If any woman is interested to make such relation with me in kolkata,she is welcome and requested to contact me.
Written by: Ani | 08/10 03:05PM

Be true to yourself
An affair out of marriage is nothing to be discussed.It is a part of needs of every one and we cant find any one who can share everything for a life time with same sincerity and passion.Its not all about sex.Its about sharing,understanding and caring.People looks for changes in everything they wish...natural.
Written by: sree | 11/10 07:48PM

More than just fun or bullshit...
Its easier said then done. All the guys who call this a bullshit will know it better when they will try to put themselves into the shoes of that lady. its not just about happiness or trying to gain anythin of EMA, A lot depends on the situation too.Many a times your head may know what is worng but ur heart wudnt b able to help it. We cant blame anybody and v wont b ever able to decide what is right and what is wrong. Becaouse actually nobody is, but its just the time that's wrong.. All this may sound philosophical but its true. If i at some point of time cum to know such a thing about my husband i would be shattered and smashed but then then the best thing wud be to just accept the truth and try to help him out of it.
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Written by: UGG Classic Short Boots | 24/10 11:35PM

Extra Marital affair
What if u seriously get involved with the lady u r not married....life of your entire family will certainly get spoiled and most importantly at one stage when u start introspect u will feel like a criminal who only gave tear to both wife and lover .
Written by: Pankaj Ahuja | 27/10 04:50PM

Even in the new century, I think mistress is still an embarrassed social situation in some places. Maybe in some young ladies’ eyes, mistress might mean the beauty with fashion clothes, well make up and could get good money. But I suggest that you should wear the rubber wristbands which with the sentence “I am Mistress” or “I like Mistress” and then hang around in New England, you would know the pressure. In my opinion, maybe I am the young woman in old style; no one should try to destroy others’ life, the extramarital affair is one way to destroy others’ life and the mistress is the killer of the happy marriage. Some men might have the feeling that they could not find the belongingness in his family, their wives are always busy and their kids are always naughty, so they just want to have another place to get rid of these bad feelings. And that is why they run after the lovers. Though they describe their family life in a terrible way, I think they still love their wives or at least their kids. Otherwise he might divorce as soon as possible then. Some young ladies are just falling into the jam of these lies. Some of them just know his marriage after falling in love with these married men. And then they just think that they could not leave their men, so they choose waiting, waiting for the news of divorce. Till one day she finds that he could not leave his family and all the waiting exchanges for nothing from him. To the young ladies, the wisest choice when you are in this situation is leaving him as soon as possible. The married men should not appear on your dating list. It is the principle. Only doing so, you could have the real happiness.
Written by: cjniya | 30/10 08:48PM

ema
my best advice is that avoid ema and if you get a chance enjoy it but dont continue this because bothsides there will be serious damage even in future it will haunt you some other ways
Written by: gk.shivakumar | 15/11 01:21AM

ema
our brain knows wats right n whats wrong but our heart may refuse to obey our brains come wat may ....wat touches our heart vvvvv deeply cannot b avoided till last breath.....though we shud try to cut short the affair as much and as early as possible if we have a faithful and loyal spouse
Written by: soorya | 17/11 09:59AM

Dont mess around if you are married happily
If you are married happily and have children. Dont mess with their lives. these things haunt for ever. The ghosts dont go away and the relationships dont recover to normal. It's better to masturbate that to have an EMA, if you are so desperate for sex.
Written by: Vivek Gupta | 18/11 04:19PM